I would say youneed to talk more about the plot to clearup some points. also, you should try and include more evidence and concrete details into your writing.- troy

I would say that you should clear up, and make the TAGS part for better. Also, include the questions at the beginning, and you should make your writing alittle more formal- kathy


hey. i think you did a really good job here. one thing i thought you could improve on is that the language is a little informal. also, i think you can change up the sentence varieties. they seem all kind of shortish... it seemed a little awkward to me. otherwise, a great post! -luis